The future's not ours to see
- Review By:
- tpb
- Date:
- January 20, 2009
- Movie:
- Next
- Director:
- Lee Tamahori
- Released:
- 2007
- Good Guy:
- Cris Johnson
- Played By:
- Nicolas Cage
- Bad Guy:
- The Russians
- Played By:
- Actors With Accents
- MPAA Rating:
- PG-13
- Family Friendly Ages:
- Young teens
Close your eyes and picture Nicolas Cage in “Adaptation” or “Leaving Las Vegas” and hold those images in your mind for a moment. Do all that you can to remember how brilliant he was in those films; how he became those characters in every believable way. Ok. Now open your eyes, take a look at him in “Next” and wonder how it is that that same stellar actor can bring himself to deliver these absurd lines like a dead-fish with a long face and slog around through this drivel as though there is really a plot to advance. There is no plot. There is no acting. There is no credibility to the text. There is no consistency to the “science”. There is nothing of value here. It's embarrassing enough to have to admit to seeing this dreck all the way to the end. Imagine how embarrassing it must be to star in it. It's a bad movie with a couple of car chases and a great, big avalanche that looks like the CGI guys used crayons to put it together (no kidding – watch how those logs, outlined in black magic marker, tumble downhill and fall perfectly into place).
The Russians have stolen a polished and shiny nuclear device and are planning to set it off in San Francisco. Special Agent Ferris (Julianne Moore, doing her best to blend in with a set full of bad actors) wants Cris Johnson (Cage) to help them find it because he can see into the future. Wait! The Russians? Yes. The terrorists are Russians. Dated? Yes. Important? No. Actually, it's very difficult to say who these bad guys are. The actors use these pseudo-Eastern-European-French-Italian sounding accents when speaking - all but the evil woman who is romantically attached to the head bad guy. She speaks perfect American sounding English. But, really, who cares? It's just stupid. It's stupid how the terrorists can determine immediately what the FBI is going to do simply by watching the FBI parking garage from across the street. It's stupid how the FBI deduce immediately what the bad guys are going to do simply by finding a dead body in a parking lot. But what's really stupid is how Cris Johnson's ability to tell the future continually morphs to fit the plot contrivances. Supposedly, he can only see 2 minutes into the future, but what isn't explained is how he can also read minds as evidenced by his ability to look into a security camera at the exact moment that the security guards are talking about him; how he can search an entire warehouse simply by thinking about it; and how he can induce a bad guy to shoot at him until the gun is empty simply by, what, predicting the outcome and trajectory of the bullets? Hang on... No... no... there is really no explanation at all for that one. The gun shooting scene makes no sense whatsoever. Nonetheless, rest assured that Nicolas Cage (age 43) does, indeed, convince Jessica Biel (age 25) to fall in love with him. It must have been the persistent stalking, his admission that two things he likes are Frankenstein and Cadillacs, and the scintillating conversation: “I like rain” he says. “I like rain too” she replies. They had that discussion while it was raining. Forget "Next". Go see "Adaptation" instead.
- Comment from:
- 011235813
- Date:
- February 3, 2009
I thought it was enjoyable, even if the plot was a bit....off.
THIS MOVIE WAS REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DUMMBBB.