Leon... or... whatever
- Review By:
- tpb
- Date:
- November 8, 2008
- Movie:
- The Professional
- Director:
- Luc Bresson
- Released:
- 1994
- Good Guy:
- Leon
- Played By:
- Jean Reno
- Bad Guy:
- Norman "Stan" Stansfield
- Played By:
- Gary Oldman
- MPAA Rating:
- R
- Family Friendly Ages:
- Not for kids
This movie is really just plain creepy. A twelve year-old Mathilda (Natalie Portman) and a 40-something illiterate hitman Leon (Jean Reno) finally declaring their love for each other in the third act of The Professional just pushes this preposterous, contrived nonsense right over the edge. It starts out like every other re-hashed hitman plot: an assassin with a code of honor who refuses to kill women or children. Ho-hum. But here's the trouble: what is this man doing with this child?!? He's teaching her to become a killer that's what's he's doing. And he's doing it because she has charmed him into showing his human side. That's right. His human side, as it turns out, is a nurturing, caring, teacher. And he's such a good teacher and she's such a natural murderer that the first time she gets behind a high-powered rifle, she hits her jogger-in-Central-Park moving target with one shot. By the way, the fact that he is illiterate allows this Lolita heartwarmingly to teach him to read so that she can leave him a note later on that gives her whereabouts just in time for him to stage a last-second rescue. Reno's Leon is almost believable as he slowly works out the message turning the paper over in his hands like Lassie might do with a note from Timmy explaining that he's just fallen into the well. Lucky for Leon Mathilda's character does voice-over narration to help him through the rough spots. Did I mention creepy?
Gary Oldman stars as a sadistic, insane, DEA agent who, with his DEA minions murders an entire family, including the four-year-old brother of Mathilda. Oldman, apparently, thought his character would best be served by playing some over-the-top composite of Nicholson's Joker; McDowell's Clockwork Orange; Eastwood's Unforgiven; and Chigurh's No Country for Old Men, but 'composite' implies that he thought about this one before the cameras started rolling. 'Villainous ridiculous mess' might be a better descriptor for his character, Stan. It's not all Oldman's fault though. Whoever wrote the plot contrivances that allow Stan, a federal officer, to call upon every single New York City policeman and SWAT team member to storm an apartment building without probable cause; fire bazooka-type explosives through closed doors; and recklessly kill one of their own whose only mistake was to be taken hostage; needs to watch more cop shows on television. So, how does this all turn out in the end? What difference does it make? This movie fails on every level - well, not every level. It scores pretty high on the creep scale.
